Kurauking's Journal

Listening and Languages
Each year, lots of men I know cringe with the approach of Valentine’s Day. They wonder just what it is that will make the day special for their partners and how they can best communicate love. And we all know that the wrong thing given to a sweetheart can be worse than giving nothing at all.

Commit to Listen
There is nothing that communicates love than a willingness to listen to your partner. Someone mentioned that women in general have a built-in need to communicate about three times as much as men in general. There are certainly exceptions to this rule, but I believe the general trend is true. Giving your partner quality listening time, and then really listening to her with a goal of understanding, is a much appreciated gift.

Figure Out Her “Love Language”
The premise of Dr. Chapman’s book (The Five Love Languages) is that we all receive love in different ways. The way we receive love best is called our “love language.” Dr. Chapman identifies five basic love languages:

* sharing quality time
* physical touch
* expressing words of affirmation
* giving and receiving gifts and
* performing acts of service

To help figure out your partner’s love language, you can read the book, ask her about it, or watch for signs. This could be a great Valentine’s Day or pre-Valentine’s Day experience for your partner and you.

Pamper Her
Most of our wives and girlfriends appreciate a chance to be pampered a little. Here are a few ideas about thing you can do for Valentine’s Day to pamper your partner.

Give her a day at a Day Spa. Offer to take a off day and stay home with the kids so she can enjoy a day spa visit-your treat. At a day spa, she can just be pampered all she wants-a little time in the hot tub, a massage, a little rejuvenation.

Plan a little romantic getaway. There are so many resorts today, and they offer a real opportunity for a little pampering.

Find her favorite fragrance. If you know your partner’s favorite perfume and it’s one you like as well, this can be great gift.

Memorialize Memories
A memorable Valentine’s Day gift can be one that recalls favorite memories from your partner’s past or from your history as lovers. Consider:

Fill a Memory Tin. This one takes a little thought and planning, but is sure to please. Think back about the fun times and memories you have shared together and write a little line about each one. For example, “Getting caught making out at the park,” or “When you first told me you were pregnant.” Then fold them up and put them in a little heart shaped tin you can find at a variety store this time of year. She will have a ton of fun remembering the good times with you!

Mementos in a Box. Does your partner have a dresser drawer full of souvenirs or mementos? Things like concert ticket stubs, matchbooks, restaurant napkins, etc. from your life together sometimes find their way into boxes or drawers. Consider taking a few of the meaningful ones and head down to the local framing shop to have them put in a memory box. Or you might take one or two special ones and have them encased in lucite at a local trophy shop. These can again make fun and memorable Valentine’s Gifts.

The best way to celebrate Valentine’s Day is to give your partner the gift she would appreciate, not the one you think she should have. Focus on her and not you-and this Valentine’s Day will be the best ever.

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By Ah Girl

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